Sharing Pieces of my Soul on the Billboards & Articles

Hi again!

Sorry for a long silence, there has been so many things happening that I got lost in time, space and everything else possible.

Sometimes life feels as walking on such fountain -
you never know when you might be all splashed with cold water

Can’t believe it’s almost August! I keep remembering the Lithuanian expression 'Parduota Vasara', wonder if something like this exists in English? In Lithuanian the direct translation would be 'the Sold Summer' which kind of means that you sacrifice your holiday so you work and do something else difficult and boring. In my and other graudates' case, it means trying to sort our lives out, I guess!

This time I would like to share some recent more or less art-related facts and happenings from the young artist’s life:

An article on me was published in the website www.anglija.lt where I shared my thoughts with the most amazing journalist I ever met Jolanta about how is it like to be a young artist in the big city. I am still surprised how she managed to put all my random blagging into such a nice article! You can have a read here!

One of my drawings after winning against 500 submissions will be a part of the Art in the Eastside project in the East Belfast Arts Festival and, as the website says, it will accumulate the audience of up to one million people. My drawing will be printed as a maaassive billboard somewhere around Belfast and everyone there will be able to see it! Can you imagine this? Pretty cool, isn't it?

I am glad I didn’t listen to the ‘advice’ to quit drawing for a while, haha!

Will see how it all goes!

Got paid my first full month’s salary. Way too small though as I forgot to bring some papers on time.

Paid off some debts. Still owe a quite a bit though.

Finally bought a watch so hopefully I get to improve my time management skills!

Also, got my new housemates worried while spending three nights away at my friend’s. Nice to know that even people who you think are complete strangers actually care about you!

Got to go cross half of the London by the cab to get to my work two hours earlier than usually.

I am seriously starting to consider getting a pet/friend/husband whatever so that I don’t have to throw away all the sushis and Japanese sweets I get to take home. Joking about the husband part though!

Got to see some interesting exhibits in the Museum of Childhood as an excuse for my children’s game illustration commission. Was a bit strange there though as I was probably the only visitor here on research purposes rather than having been dragged here by the children.

bit creepy, isn't it?

My friend Val recommended me this song - I think the lyrics are really accurate! Especially I like the 'twitter twitter little star' part! 

P.S. I know I keep forgetting to say this every time even though I always keep it in my mind – so I would like to include a big big Thank You to my Mum, Dad and my Friends for everything!

Yours,

Broke and bit shattered but I am getting there,

G.

'As I Was Moving Ahead Occasionally I Saw Brief Glimpses of Beauty'

Hi again!

a rare occasion when someone takes a picture of me
so you know who is blagging all that nonsense here!

Tonight I would like to share some of mine thoughts that are a bit more negative/sarcastic/honest than I even would like myself.

Last summer while being an intern  in the National Gallery of Art in my hometown Vilnius, Lithuania I learnt many invaluable lessons. And, what surprises me, that some of these lessons I got to understand only now.

For example, I got to see some of the films by Jonas Mekas, one of a few artists and filmmakers Lithuanians are extremely proud of. Please google him if you have a spare minute!

young Jonas Mekas

His films I’ve seen are like visual diaries – the authentic video footage with his mellow voice on top telling personal stories.

So, there is my clumsy summary on one of the stories he told in the film called ‘As I Was Moving Ahead Occasionally I Saw Brief Glimpses ofBeauty’ (2000):

Jonas Mekas migrated to USA together with his brother in his twenties. And, at first, they spent some time in one of the cities crowded with other Lithuanians where the whole Lithuanian families lived in strange fantasy world – they even held the regular meetings about how they will come back to Lithuania when it’s all okay there again – the political and the economical situation, all that stuff!

And after having spent some time like this Jonas Mekas suddenly realized that he literally got stuck. As people around him were stuck in some sort of dreams and fantasies that will never come true and that all these regular meetings and fancy Lithuanian parties were only a mean to calm themselves so that maybe they don’t have to admit that they are never coming back to their motherland. Therefore, after having realized the hopelessness of the situation Jonas Mekas and his brother were in they left the Lithuanian community and, if I remember correctly, moved to Manhattan.

And there they started to make a living working all the random jobs, staying alive only on coffee and sandwiches which after sometime they became sick of…

And after the struggles he eventually got to meet such people as Salvador Dali, John Lennon and Yoko Ono and the others and created the Fluxus movement, eventually created many great things back in Lithuania as well, etc.

I guess you understand what I wanted to say ‘between the lines’ while retelling you this short story.

It’s just that the recent experiences made me realize some things once more and made me come up with some conclusions as well as actually do something serious about my life here.

I am not telling that we have to forget our Nationality, our roots or stuff like that. No way!

But, to be very honest with you all, I just got really sick of the fact that very often we Lithuanians cling to each other only because of the same Nationality and forget where we really are. Because it is easier this way, isn’t it?

And even though my best friend here in London is a Lithuanian I like the fact that we got to know each other only through creating the designs for some products.

So, sorry if I am being too honest here, but, the sudden growth of the Lithuanian acquaintances who remember me whilst I am here in London made me realize all this I just confessed to you.

I lost the count of people, Lithuanians and not, whom I met and whom I spent ages talking to, but I got tired of the hours spent talking about things but not actually doing anything.

 Maybe because I always choose the most difficult path or maybe because I am trying to prove something to someone.

That I am not stuck, that I am different, that I am better, that I can do more, that I didn’t come here to work as a slave and save every penny. I know all this myself but some hidden little monster inside me keeps showing through and makes me ask myself all these questions again, again and again.

But maybe it’s not such a bad thing, I think. This way we realize what we really want, I guess.

(by: Julee Yoo)
 It's so hot here in the Big City that lying on the grass
 or on any other possible (cold) surface is the only thing I want to do

What do you think about this? Maybe I am just being too dramatic once more!

Anyway, I am off to sleep!

Something Seems To Be Actually Happening

Hi again,

Is has been crazy. As usually. I still cannot quite grasp the fact that I moved again. Living with new people again. Got lost a few times round there. I always do. In the new places. I am already thinking of doing a little housewarming here for my new temporary home, wonder how many people would actually come though?!

more nice buildings

I gave an interview this Monday to one lovely Lithuanian journalist who is actually interested in someone like – who is starting off to do something creative not someone who already with the nose high up in the air. Well, we will see how it worked out later on. One thing is definitely clear - it would be way too embarrassing to fail now after shouting the whole wide world about myself. This is the luxury I can't even afford thinking about! :)

And I finally got my illustration contract from Lithuania. I am supposed to do some cute drawings for a children board game. Again, still in the process. Will post some pictures as soon as we finish! 

So, let’s just keep the fingers crossed!

And my days are usually pretty much crazy and similar – commuting, working, commuting, meeting people, commuting, discovering London, reading and (sometimes) answering emails and still hardly any time to draw. 

Somehow by brain is still getting used to many things, if not London and its scale then the adult life on the whole with few days off in a week. I am not surprised many people choose to study anything they find so that they do not need to decide anything themselves. 

As I constantly keep thinking now when there are so many things and people round there – how do I decide on the right things?

How do I know if something I decided is right?

Whom should I listen to?

I noticed that I seem to be overthinking the things I should care the least and don't care about the things I should be worried. 

Talk to you soon,

G.

'Sometimes I Think, Sometimes I Am'

I don’t know if I should be happy or sad about the fact I just realized recently. You know all these epic books and films about the artists? Sometime ago I realized that I meet of all the stereotypes about the typical artist. Wish I had more time to actually make art though.

somehow my drawings seem to change a little
 everytime I move/go somewhere new

But despite that fact nothing in my life seems to be normal. For example, I finally managed to move from zone 6 to zone 3. Due to many circumstances, as the lack of money etc, I ended up in the bohemian attic room – the type of the room most of the artists would live in.

Also…

I am still broke…

I keep losing all the possible things, still surprised I got my head on my shoulders.

Got fed up trying to find excuses not to go to watch a film with some creative art student who is at least ten years older than I am.

I work in the Japanese shop (which made me pretty spoilt after eating all the Japanese food such as okonomiyaki, takoyaki, sushi, sashimi, etc almost every day and where I meet amazing people and get to practice my clumsy Japanese language skills).

I am meeting a journalist to give (one more) interview! Will let you know how it went!

Godknows what I gonna tell – the true, I guess…

Sometimes I just wonder why can’t I just live like most of the ‘normal’ people, you know?!

People take for granted the fact if I am clumsy, absent – minded, put on some colourful clothes on, etc – ‘these artists’ – they say, but to be honest, I do nothing but I am myself and sometimes I just think wouldn’t it be easier to be a good, tidy girl who meets the guy like her and lives happily ever after…

'Sometimes I Think, Sometimes I Am' illustrated by Sara Fanelli 

One day I found a nice illustrated book called 'Sometimes I Think, Sometimes I Am' illustrated by Sara Fanelli and I feel in love with it! It has dozens of thought provoking quotes with lovely illustrations! Well, one day...

I keep remembering one pretty random incident from when I was a small girl which I think kind of fits now.

Me and my mom would spend summers near the Baltic Sea and usually I would just spend days lying on the beach, reading children books, silly girl magazines and would just simply keep daydreaming (as I wasn’t most social kid, afterall). I remember there was some kind of personality test in one of these magazines. I don’t remember the questions (something silly, I guess) but somehow I still remember what the answer said. It said something about my multiple (or something like that) personality and that I will end up meeting people of all sorts – from smart geeks to crazy artists. And I remember being extremely disappointed by the fact that I will probably end up with no stable relationships etc, but at least I will have what to laugh at and remember when I get old. What a relief when you feel like wanting some kind of stability in your life NOW.

beautiful walls of the beautiful buildings in the beautiful city

I know it was a silly test as I must have been no more than ten back then. But I just can’t stop being surprised how true that random article was, probably written just for the sake of being written.

I remember while back in my geeky school I always felt like someone who doesn’t belong there due to spending too much time daydreaming and drawing and now, when I finally got to meet many creative people, something inside me started admiring the ‘stable’ kind of people, people who wake up at the same hour each morning, put on the same kind of suit, take the same route to and from work, eat the same lunch in the same café…

me and my two Lauras 

I wonder why? Even though I wonder why at the same time I get annoyed if others want me to become ‘normal’ like the sort of people I secretly admire?!

Maybe you know the answer?

All the best,

G.

'You Don’t Need Four Walls...'

First of all, sorry for a long silence here in the Kingdom of Tangled In Triangles.

What an accurate name for a blog I came up after all – don’t you think so?

I still feel tangled like hell. If some knots are finally untangled, the new ones appear and the story starts again…

I started a new blog post some days ago but I managed to delete it somehow. Bless my wonderful computer literacy!

The Runaway by Gorjuss - I was reminded once more about this artist
by my workmate wonderful Italian girl Debbie

To be honest, so many strange things are happening or… are just surrounding me that sometimes I just stop to analyse things. And, you know what, you may laugh, but, I don’t even know why, I got to realize several times that the things work out and happen the way they seem to be supposed happening only when I follow some voice inside me.

You might call it selfishness but to be honest, I just stopped listening to majority of people as otherwise I would just have not only to tear myself apart but to tear myself into dozens of smallest pieces and then scatter them completely different directions.

I wish I would have guts to write you more often but I will write you about what stuck in my memory most.

One day, before going to some room viewings I left the house earlier and for one more time went to Tate Modern. And, exactly on that day the new exhibition was opened. Check it out and come have a look if you happen to be in London! The artists name is Meschac Gaba and what stuck me the most was his quote on the front wall of the exhibition which said: 

YOU DON’T NEED FOUR WALLS TO DEFINE YOUR PLACE, TO DECIDE WHO YOU ARE.’

I don’t even know why but this quote just got me – you know when you hear or see something just in the right place in the right time?

I think that quote says a lot itself, doesn’t it?

One more great exhibition I got to see was this one! The Graphic Art of the Harry Potter Films by Miraphora Mina and Eduardo Lima!

HARRY POTTER!

To be honest, I had no clue, the film crew actually got the artists do such a thorough job! Seems a dream job, doesn't it?! 

Well.. At least now I know such great things are actually happening in this big big world and Harry Potter isn't the only one to be surrounded by magic!

And the fact that Harry was also living in Surrey (where I still am at the moment) made my day! 

Because I keep getting stressed out about all this uncertainty my life is just soaking with – from the trial period at work to my desperate wish to get out of the faraway house in the zone 6 (well, at least not a zone 10, imagine that!)  due to my obvious financial circumstances I am stuck in at the moment.

By the way, apparently quite a few people must be reading this little blog – thank you guys!

As I even got a comment below one of my posts!! What a surprise!

As I was telling about a strange phone call, the comment by someone called PaulB asked me to tell me more about that phone call!

To be honest, I don’t even know where to start naming all the strange calls and encounters here but the long story short – I was going to be paid to write creative film reviews but as I have to make a living somehow and this wouldn’t be enough, I eventually lost this opportunity only because I have to have a job. That’s the story.

Somehow I was going to complain about at least a billion things but somehow I can’t put myself together to do this. Maybe later when I get extremely fed up I will let all the disappointments out!

But today I think I found a perfect house with a room to rent and I seem to have quite a few friends – here in London or coming to visit me! I feel honoured!

So, there is no time to be looking back to the things that only stop us from moving forward!

There are so many things to be done that I hardly have any time left for them if I wouldn’t count the hours spent sleeping/working/commuting. Once, while all tired and fed up waiting for the train I started thinking that even hamsters seem to have a way more exciting life than most of the adults.

And because I am still young, naïve and optimistic I still believe that it is somehow possible not to become one of such hamsters, or, as one Lithuanian writer wrote, chinchillas.

Still broke and (still) believing in the beautiful dreams and beautiful today and tomorrow,

Gabriele 

(or, as I got named at work – Gabby san)

I was having some hysterical moment after the crazy day when I accidently appeared at work  two hours too early, lost my precious Oyster with the zones 1-6 travelcard and spent ages in tube while trying to get to the gallery (which sadly closed before we even got there. Photo by: Jenna)

(I don't remember if I shared that song with you already - found this song by Blue Hawaii ages ago because I liked... the album cover... maybe stupid but isn't the album cover really great?!)

P.S.: I know many people might be disappointed by my lack of organisation skills at the moment but I am doing my best to put myself together so I apologise for all the forgotten birthdays, unsent letters, overdue bills back in Preston, the illustrations and logos I haven't even started and millions of other things that I am embarrassed myself. 

P.S.2 Before I finally managed to upload this post literally billions of new things happened - starting new phone calls related to illustration work to eventually finding a lovely attic room to rent! Not to mention how I managed to lose my travel ticket - Oyster - and somehow get it back again!.. But about all this next time...